Living Life Like We’re Dying Daily
You’re going to die. There’s no way around it. That thought can cause an instant existential crisis in some, which is why most people don’t like to think about the impending inevitability. When things are good, we want to live forever, and sometimes it even feels like that’s the case, but when the chips are down… well, you know if you’ve been there. For the most part, a large majority of people want to take the ride called Life and see what’s in store within the twists, turns, and loop de loops, so it may seem scary for the ride to come to an end, but at least you’re not the only one it’s going to happen to. Everyone is going to die. However, this doesn’t have to be a reason to curl up in a room with black out curtains while the Cure and Elliot Smith soundtrack your downward spiral. No, it can be the antithesis of that. It could be a reason to go try something you’ve always wanted to do, or to be more present, or to simply be a better person.
We’ve all heard the expression, “Live life like there’s no tomorrow!” But, when some of us do that, we end up wishing there wasn’t a tomorrow while hanging over the toilet seat expelling the contents of the night before. Even without having a few too many, living life like there’s no tomorrow could still mean late nights, which means little sleep, and that’s fine if you’re in your teens or twenties, but those precious hours of sleep that escaped tend to have a more noticeable impact as we age. If you had one day left to live, I think the majority of people would live that day selfishly, which is fine. Its’ your last day so make it about you. Makes total sense. However, these examples as well as most others you could probably think of aren’t very practical ways of living when there is in fact, or at least presumably so, a tomorrow to reap any hedonistic repercussions. So, what exactly does living like there’s no tomorrow, or better yet living for today, look like through a lens of practicality rather than trite cliches or bucket list fantasies?
For starters, I think being present is a great first step because it’s good for you and everyone else. Being more present means being more aware of yourself and your surroundings in the moment. Being less in your head. It’s about being more of a participator in the scene rather than an observer of your own actions. This isn’t about some hippy, new-age, be in the now, let it all go, what’s done is done, live and let live type of thing. It’s about personal accountability and honesty. It’s about checking in with yourself, and being less on auto pilot. We can still take charge and get things done while being present, which takes being mindful of how our actions impact others, and how we’re handling situations and those around us. Being present is acknowledging mistakes when they happen. We’re not perfect. Never will be. We have traumas, blind spots, and differing perspectives that can muddle up certain situations, but things could go over a lot easier if we were all a little more present in the moment especially when things get tense or chaotic.
With being present comes compassion. We can become more aware of how we feel when things happen to us and why they make us feel that way, which allows us to empathize with others in similar situations, or could shed some light on the way we may have impacted someone else’s life. With compassion and empathy, we can realize that most others just want the same things: a full belly, love, security, and contentment. To be heard and feel seen. To be accepted. Some people just have to scratch and claw their way to these things or at least they think. Some don’t know there’s any other way because of environmental conditioning. Not only is it beneficial to remember that everyone is out there trying to get a little piece of life the best way they know how, but they’re also doing while carrying their own baggage behind the masks they’ve been taught to wear.
Approaching situations with in this way doesn’t mean that one would need to be completely passive or take any and all disrespect that comes their way. Honestly, there’s a bunch of people who would love to use their last day to tell people how they really feel! “Ey, yo, fuck you, Greg!” We can and should be a little more honest with each other. It’s about intention. We’re not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings, but, shit, Greg might’ve deserved that. No, no, no… but, seriously… fuck Greg. No, don’t fuck Greg. I mean, you could fuck Greg if you wanted to. I’m sure someone wants to. I guess what I’m trying to say is just be honest with Greg… respectfully.
Okay, so there’s a lot of talk about other people, but what about me?! How are we talking about living for today and it’s all about other people? What about the indulgences?! Desserts. Drugs. Sex. The pleasurable trifecta of things we’re told to abstain from. Too much sugar rah rah rah. Keep touching it and you’ll go blind. You know, these things in excess can ruin lives. Healthy doses, moderation… as long as you’re not hurting anyone but yourself then you do you. May not be the most productive, but it’s your life to do what you will with as long as it doesn’t interfere with anyone else negatively. When living hedonistically, the only detriment you should be is to yourself. I mean, you could just say “Fuck it,” and go balls to the wall not caring about who is affected along the way, which may work out fine for you, but that doesn’t work on a macro level where everyone is acting in such a way because then seldom would be accomplished except selfish intents colliding. No substantial relationships can be forged when everyone is using each other for personal gains. There has to be some semblance of foresight and interconnectedness in order for there to be a sustainable way of living for today.
Dreams are dreams until put into action. We make excuses as to why we aren’t putting in the effort towards what we think we want to do then complain about not being able to do said aspiration. Quite silly. Failure isn’t fun, but neither is the aforementioned situation. Failure isn’t the only option though. You could succeed, but who cares if you don’t. Try again. Try something else. Just try. Not sure who is on their death bed wishing they would’ve tried fewer things in life.
There’s plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead. Get up early and grind then grind some more. Go to work and grind, then go home and grind. Grind at dinner then grind some more. Stay up late and grind. Grind in your sleep. Wake, grind, repeat. I’m grinding my teeth just thinking about that. Life is hard enough. No need to make it more difficult. Well, if I work hard now, I can enjoy my success later, right? Possibly. However, the drunk driver who is texting while speeding has no concern for you or your ambitions or retirement funds. You have to get up early enough to seize the day, but it’s harder to enjoy it when you’re not well rested, so listen to your body when it says it needs a day off or time away from something. Try to enjoy life as it comes at you, and make time to savor the fruits of your labor while they’re ripe.
Life is a dichotomous tightrope walk. We have to be active with purpose and have reflective repose. We have to change while staying true to ourselves. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy, but all play and no work makes Jack’s arm tired. You have to dream and pretend to figure out what you want to do and achieve, but it takes some work to live it.
We often times think we are more important than we are. That all the things we’re involved in will fall apart without us as we are an integral part to the system or the lives of those around us. Unfortunately, life doesn’t skip a beat. It keeps chugging along. Those close to you may mourn you for a short period, but people move on faster than they would like to admit. In fact, people sometimes feel remorse that they don’t miss their loved ones with the immeasurable sadness they once felt. They feel guilty that they are moving on, but that’s life. Death happens and life continues. Each can’t exist without the other, but they also have no regard for one another. It’s necessary to take stock of who actually needs us, versus who is using us for personal gain or just likes having you around, because you are legitimately important to some people, and it’s those that should get more of our time and attention. There are the things that we think matter and the things that actually matter, which is often times a much smaller percentage of the former.
Our societal idea of success is a fabricated standard, but the qualifications for success are often frivolous in the face of death like money. You can’t take it with you. Success is subjective. A mother doesn’t weigh her success by the same measures as the stockbroker or politician. No one is concerned with the minute details of the long hours and sacrifices. People want the footnotes to your story, and people care less about your story if you stepped on people to get where you are. Compassion is remembered. Your contributions to others live on. We should question if we will leave a legacy or any sort of remembrance, and if so, do you want your memory to be celebrated or cursed? Honestly, most people won’t have much of a legacy in the long term besides the contributions they left behind, and they’ll be unnamed, but that’s okay.
I would think that most would want to have their name remembered in some way, which is why we paint and build skyscrapers. Either way it’s all eventually dust. One man’s trash is another man’s treasures. No. Your treasures end up someone else’s junk. The real value is what we do for those around us and for future generations. Fuck your yacht. Fund a massive clean-up project or invest in reforestation. Well, yachts might be kind of sick, I wouldn’t know firsthand, but if you can afford a yacht of two maybe do something better for others instead of getting the second one. Even if you’re only looking out for those close to you like family, that’s fine, but you’re leaving them and everyone else in a devolving scenario of greed, carelessness, and excess when we only look out for ourselves. Plant the tree for your grandchildren’s grandchildren to enjoy some shade.
We have to learn to let go. Let go of the legacy. The material possessions. We have to let go of the judgmental stares of eyes down curled noses. We have to let go of the driver who cut you off before break checking you. We have to let go of the past. Letting go doesn’t make some of these things unimportant necessarily. There’s no shame in trying to leave your mark on a dying world. The ring that’s been handed down generation after generation isn’t any less special. You don’t have to take shit from people, and your past is and will always be a piece of you, but we don’t have to let these things carry so much weight.
Life opens up when you realize that you can do anything within the laws of physics. Those are the only laws that truly rule your life. Entropy, gravity, cause and effect… we are bound to these principles. However, we are not truly beholden or governed by manmade laws and ideas of morals and ethics. These things are in general good for a society, but do not restrict you from actually doing anything, and once you realize you are not obligated to follow your family’s expectations or walk the beaten down path dictated by society or conform to any sort of customary cultural norms you are free to interact with the world on your terms, but remember we must do so tactfully and respectfully in order for everyone to operate in this world in their own way, and there are still laws as well as repercussions for our actions, so exercise that liberation carefully.
This is a dream, a simulation, it could all be a figment of my or someone else’s imagination, it’s a creation of an omnipotent creator, or maybe it’s a random chaotic survival of the fittest situation that sparked into existence. Whatever this is… you’re experiencing it. You’re here, and you have seemingly endless choices. You could go surf the beaches in Fiji or buy a farm in Ohio. You could live life in pursuit of selfishly gained material possessions or to be more focused on uplifting yourself and those around you or you could just maybe be on your phone less and with your kids more. It doesn’t have to be some kind of grand change. Those types of massive moves are possible, but are much more circumstantial, and are more feasible for some while much less for others, so the goal is to make more of an effort to open up to ourselves, the world around us, and the present moment. If you’re not happy then change it.
If you were to die tonight, would you be proud of your choices and actions made throughout the day? That’s essentially the basis of this practice. No day is perfect. We may fall short from time to time and not live up to expectations, but that’s to be expected. Try to go with the flow. You may have heard the adage “When the mind is tired exercise the body. When the body is tired exercise the mind.” We’ve all had those days where we have our mind set on a task or idea, but we encounter obstacle after obstacle trying to obtain it no matter how hard we try. Despite how much we may push the universe sometimes pushes back. It’s not a sign to give up completely. It may mean to try again later. Inaction is regret. I believe that we are ultimately more regretful of the things we didn’t try rather than the things we failed at whether it’s the grand lifelong dreams or the simple pleasures of poetic inspiration. Enjoy the sunrise. Enjoy the stars and the smells of changing seasons. Learn to love your present self and forgive your past. Getting laid off, getting injured, being ill, and the passing of loved ones are reminders that often shake our perceived stability. Life is unpredictable. Hold the door open for someone. Tell someone thank you. Give someone a hug because they need one or just because. Take some time for yourself. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you can do anything, but sometimes you need that reminder. The time is now. Full send before the full stop.
